Tuesday, October 7, 2014

5 On It: NFL Week 5 Recap


No, I didn't forget about last week. After the horrific outcome of last week's Bears-Packers game, I decided to find my happy place and pretend that week 4 never happened. So, since in my mind there were no games, there was no need for a recap...perfect logic.

Logic aside, my happy place ended up being shattered because the damn Bears lost another damn game to the damn Panthers. Let's see what the rest of the week had to offer.

The Thursday Night Game Sucked...Again:
In week five's episode of lopsided football, the Packers waxed the Vikings. This game was over in the first quarter. There has not been one good Thursday night game so far this season, which is not all that bad considering that I have not yet had to function my way through a Friday morning hangover at work. These blowouts ensure an early bedtime. Hopefully this Thursday's game will be a little better with J.J. Watt and the 3-2 Houston Texans hosting Andrew Luck and the 3-2 Indianapolis Colts...hopefully.


Tony Romo and the Dallas Cowboys Are 4-1!!!:
Ever since his week one meltdown, Mr. Romo has seemed to pull it together. With the help of early season MVP candidate, DeMarco Murray, number 9 has guided the Cowboys to a share of first place in the NFC East with the Philadelphia Eagles. Now if the Cowboys could only figure out a way to ban cell phone cameras in the executive offices.


The Patriots Soften Up the Bengals For the Kill:
The New England Patriots took time out of their game with the Cincinnati Bengals to pay tribute to Leah Still, the young daughter of the Bengals' Devon Still, who is battling cancer. After the heartfelt moment of recognition, during which Devon Still shed tears, the Emperor Belichick, Vader Brady, and the storm troopers the Patriots proceeded to obliterate the Bengals to the tune of 43-17. The ol' cancer tribute play works every time.


The Jets Still Suck:
They put up a goose egg against the Chargers. Zero points. Not even a field goal. Why does Rex Ryan still have a job?


More Injuries:
It's going to be another busy week on the waiver wire for fantasy football leagues across the country. Detroit's Calvin Johnson, Denver's Montee Ball, New Orleans' Jimmy Graham, and the New York Giants' Rashad Jennings all went down and are expected to miss some playing time in the upcoming weeks. A ton of waiver wire gold should be sitting out there this week, and guess who has the lowest waiver priority in all of his fantasy leagues...this guy.


Week 6 has the Bears playing the Falcons...shit! You're welcome.


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