31(ish) Horror Films in 31 Days: Day 7 - Are You Scared?

I decided to go off-list today and just pick something that sounded interesting without researching it or looking at its Rotten Tomatoes score. I simply read the description, saw that it wasn't too long and went for it hoping to be impressed but understanding I probably wouldn't be.

I was not.

Entry #7: Are You Scared?

The inquisitive nature of the title is not meant for me (the viewer) but I'll go ahead and answer it anyway:

No. I was not scared. I wasn't scared when this film was called Saw. I wasn't scared of Cube (although I enjoyed that very much), and I wasn't scared of Halloween: Resurrection. Combining those three films with a smaller budget and horrible writing, directing, acting and editing does not make for a scary or even enjoyable film. Not that you care about my enjoyment...

I know it's not "professional" to call a film a rip-off but this... I don't believe this is deserving of professionalism. Plus, I'm no professional, so...suck it, movie.

31(ish) Horror Films in 31 Days: Day 5 - Trick 'r Treat

Today was the one day this week that I figured I wouldn't be able to watch/review a new horror movie. The planets must have been in a shitty alignment over the last couple days because yesterday was taken from me as well. As it happens...the planets must've read my last review/recommendation and felt bad for me because I managed to get both of my children to take naps around the same time. This opens up at least an hour, sometimes two hours, for me to do as I please.

And then....a massive thunderstorm rolled through and kicked all of those freshly realigned planets in the balls. I was allowed 35 minutes to myself before I was rejoined by my nearly six year old daughter who made me turn off Frankenweenie just a few months ago. Clearly she is not ready for what I was watching today.

So, since I'm not about to review the first 1/3 of the film, I'm forced to write a review/recommendation of another film I've already seen. I COULD finish the movie and MAYBE write a review before I fall sleep but this Scotch is bound to kick in before then. Plus...I hear GTA Online has been fixed. So......

31(ish) Horror Films in 31 Days: Day 2 - The Loved Ones

Two films in two days. Perfect record so far. Just twenty-nine more to go and I can scratch another item off of my bucket list that doesn't actually exist. Although, if it DID actually exist, and one of the items was "Drink 21 Fingers of Scotch and One Beer Within 7 Hours Without Vomiting" I could scratch that one off, too. Unless there was a responsibility clause that stated "Must be done without locking yourself out of your apartment the next day...you dumb dildo."

Yes, that actually happened...

31(ish) Horror Films in 31 Days: Day 1 - American Mary

Well, it's October. My favorite month of all the months. The leaves are donning their Autumnal outfits and preparing for their annual decent into oneness with Earth. The fall/winter clothes get taken out and the summer clothes get pushed toward the back of the drawer to begin their much-deserved peaceful slumber after another job well done. Halloween decorations are put out, whole aisles at department stores take on a black-ish\orange-ish glow and are constantly spilling over with laughing children...and I vow to only watch films containing blood, guts, axes, murder, dismemberment, mutilation, disembowelment, machetes, bare-handed strangulation, impalement, stoning, stabbing, chainsaws, demons, monsters, witches, werewolves and zombies. No wait...FUCK zombies. I'm so sick of god damn zombies already. That fad needs to die and NOT come back!

Moving on...

I hereby begin my first annual "31(ish) Horror Films in 31 Days* - Where I watch and Review One(ish) Horror Film a Day(ish) For 31 Days (excluding zombie films...because fuck zombies...)!"