31(ish) Horror Films in 31 Days: Day 5 - Trick 'r Treat

Today was the one day this week that I figured I wouldn't be able to watch/review a new horror movie. The planets must have been in a shitty alignment over the last couple days because yesterday was taken from me as well. As it happens...the planets must've read my last review/recommendation and felt bad for me because I managed to get both of my children to take naps around the same time. This opens up at least an hour, sometimes two hours, for me to do as I please.

And then....a massive thunderstorm rolled through and kicked all of those freshly realigned planets in the balls. I was allowed 35 minutes to myself before I was rejoined by my nearly six year old daughter who made me turn off Frankenweenie just a few months ago. Clearly she is not ready for what I was watching today.

So, since I'm not about to review the first 1/3 of the film, I'm forced to write a review/recommendation of another film I've already seen. I COULD finish the movie and MAYBE write a review before I fall sleep but this Scotch is bound to kick in before then. Plus...I hear GTA Online has been fixed. So......

Daily Throwback: Jay Z ft. UGK - Big Pimpin'

I'm thinking the Shuffle God might be saying he's down to party tonight with this selection. This classic reminds me of nothing but good nights.This song once brought my man Tito back from the dead (I won't go into any details, Tito is a family man and a small business owner nowadays). Ahhh...the good ol' days. Oh, what I would give for one more summer of no responsibilities and bad decisions. Reminisce with me. Wait, don't forget about the video. Two words: 1) Gloria 2) Velez. You're welcome

31(ish) Horror Films in 31 Days: Day 4 - The Changeling (1980)

It seems as though yesterday's chaos is spilling over into today and I'm left with only a short amount of time and that time involves little children. Needless to say...I won't be watching a horror film this day. I could probably watch one after they've gone to bed but I wouldn't 'have time to also write a review of it.

So, I've decided that on days like this, I will utilize this soapbox to review/recommend some of my favorite horror films that I think everyone should take the time to watch if they haven't already done so.

Bleacher Report: 6 People with the Most to Prove...Not Named Derrick Rose

Saturday night will be the first time D-Rose steps on the court since Tom Thibodeau left in that playoff game too long. We forgive you, Thibs.

I'm so excited about the upcoming NBA season, I wrote an article about it. Like to read it? Here it go...

6 People with the Most to Prove...Not Named Derrick Rose

You're welcome.

31(ish) Horror Films in 31 Days: Day 3 - Room 237

Well, It's a good thing today didn't happen yesterday. I woke up thinking I'd be able to get some work done while drinking coffee in my boxer shorts. Not boxer briefs, mind you...

Okay...I'm going to go on a tangent here about boxer briefs because I don't see how any man can wear those things and I know a couple who do. Don't ask why I know....just stick with me here. Now, I don't know if I just generate more heat than most dudes but whenever I wear them it feels like I'm wearing a campfire with an elastic waistband. It is seriously, uncomfortably warm down there. Like...I could be sitting, spread-eagle, in front of a fan on Hoth and it would still be a balmy 1200 degrees down there. If Han had to choose between a freshly-deceased Tauntaun and ME...he'd shove Luke right down into my crotchspace without a second thought. (Please hold your jokes about them "smelling bad...on the OUTSIDE!!)

Anyway...what I was getting at was that I thought it would be a pretty relaxing day and it turned out to be anything but. If you read my review for The Loved Ones you'd know why today could not have happened yesterday.

Luckily, today happened today. And, while it tried its best to derail my perfect record, I'm determined to get this review out by midnight (CST) and retain the glory that I, and a tiny amount of friends, even know exists.

31(ish) Horror Films in 31 Days: Day 2 - The Loved Ones

Two films in two days. Perfect record so far. Just twenty-nine more to go and I can scratch another item off of my bucket list that doesn't actually exist. Although, if it DID actually exist, and one of the items was "Drink 21 Fingers of Scotch and One Beer Within 7 Hours Without Vomiting" I could scratch that one off, too. Unless there was a responsibility clause that stated "Must be done without locking yourself out of your apartment the next day...you dumb dildo."

Yes, that actually happened...

31(ish) Horror Films in 31 Days: Day 1 - American Mary

Well, it's October. My favorite month of all the months. The leaves are donning their Autumnal outfits and preparing for their annual decent into oneness with Earth. The fall/winter clothes get taken out and the summer clothes get pushed toward the back of the drawer to begin their much-deserved peaceful slumber after another job well done. Halloween decorations are put out, whole aisles at department stores take on a black-ish\orange-ish glow and are constantly spilling over with laughing children...and I vow to only watch films containing blood, guts, axes, murder, dismemberment, mutilation, disembowelment, machetes, bare-handed strangulation, impalement, stoning, stabbing, chainsaws, demons, monsters, witches, werewolves and zombies. No wait...FUCK zombies. I'm so sick of god damn zombies already. That fad needs to die and NOT come back!

Moving on...

I hereby begin my first annual "31(ish) Horror Films in 31 Days* - Where I watch and Review One(ish) Horror Film a Day(ish) For 31 Days (excluding zombie films...because fuck zombies...)!"