Arrested Development: Season 4 Critique

Since 2006, I feverishly awaited the return of Arrested Development.  When the creators of the show announced that they would be turning the television show with a huge cult following into a movie, but not before releasing another full season of episodes to catch us all up on the Bluths, I was more than thrilled, I was (insert one word synonym for "more than thrilled" here).

It's release date has come and gone, and a two day binge of 15 brand new episodes later, and I almost feel like I was "catfished" (insert Manti Teo joke here).  Don't get me wrong, most of the humor was there, but this wasn't the same show that displayed to me what real television writing was all about.  It was unrecognizable at points, and I'm not just Portia di Rossi's appearance.

For me, the new season was just "meh."  Metaphorically speaking, it was like meeting up with a good friend you haven't seen in 7 years, and realizing in that time away you grew far apart.  Of course, there are certain moments that take you back to the fun you had in the past, but there are even more instances that tell you that the chemistry is gone and you probably can't be friends anymore.

Now, for those reading this and calling me a hater at the same time, please believe that Arrested Development will always have a place in my heart as one of my favorite television shows, but its return was lack luster, and here's the main reasons why.

NBA Randomness

I debuted my first blog here then stepped away to mourn the playoff exit of my Chicago Bulls. Now that I've coped with the devastating loss, I got a lot to vent.  I'm going to try and get this out in one breath, somebody time me.

Happy Birthday Christopher George Latore Wallace

No matter the name you knew recognized him as (Notorious B.I.G., or Biggie Smalls, or the Black Frank White), the man was an all-time favorite.  Notice I didn't say "great."  I just find it hard to put him in the top 5 with such a small portfolio of work.  Only 2 albums of original work.  If we judged artist by only their first 2 albums, Jay-Z might have stayed retired and the Fugees would still be together.

Don't get me wrong, the man had unbelievable skills.  He was the master of his era, but I'm a firm believer that true greatness in hip-hop is measured by how an artist transcends through different eras.  I'm sure he would only have gotten better, but due to tragic circumstances, we'll never know for sure. To help celebrate what would have been his 41st year on Earth, please find some time today to listen to your favorite B.I.G. song.  Here's mine.  You're welcome.

Kanye West Debuts "New Slaves" Song In Grand Fashion

Say what you want about Mr. West, but the man knows how to make an entrance. Who else would think to debut their new song by projecting a video on 66 building fronts throughout 10 different cities worldwide (Chicago, Toronto, Sydney, Paris, Berlin, London, New York, Miami, Los Angeles, & San Francisco)? The Louis Vuitton Don, that's who.

I'm speechless.  How are people supposed to top that?  Bringing a new track for Funkmaster Flex to drop a bomb on Hot 97 is no longer enough.  I now fear for my safety, rappers are going to be pulling crazy stunts to try and top 'Ye.  Jay-Z will have to debut on the moon next time.  He got in trouble for going to Cuba, what are they going to say when he goes to the moon?

Attention all rappers all music artist, fire your street teams...immediately.  Your promotional plan already sucks. From what I hear of the song, it seems politically charged and socially driven.  It sounds like Kanye is continuing his metamorphosis into Miles Davis and this album might be his Bitches' Brew. Below is a video of one of the New Slaves debuts that took place in Brooklyn. There are a few more presentations of the video tonight in Chicago. If you're interested, you can go to the official Kanye West website and get the locations and times.  You're welcome.

10 Eating Out Commandments: Part Deux

Okay, it's been about a month since I hit you with with the first 10, and hungry people are still acting moronic at restaurants.  Don't worry though, the crusade is not over.  There are literally thousands of idiosyncrasies that diners possess that annoy the shit out of me, so here are 10 more for you to feast on.  Have at it.

New Music: Mayer Hawthorne - Her Favorite Song

Not to sound racist or nothing (already offended?), but why does it seem like the best R&B is coming from caucasians? First Justin, then Robin, now Mayer.  This is the definition of a jam.  I am really feeling the whole Earth, Wind, & Fire/Ohio Players vibe to this cut.  This is that after dark-driving with the windows down-wearing sunglasses type stuff.  You're welcome.

"The Best Man Holiday" Teaser Trailer

One of the few upcoming sequels that I'm actually looking forward to.  I loved the first movie, The Best Man, for several reasons.  Not only was it was intelligently written and beautifully acted, but it featured a predominantly African-American cast playing "normal" roles.  There was no shuckin' and jivin' and no coonery.  There wasn't about a gangster/drug dealer, an athlete, and nobody had to overcome anything.  The women were strong without being perceived as being overbearing, and the men had comedic timing without being slap-sticky.  Most importantly, a grown ass man didn't dress up as an old woman (if you are a Tyler Perry fan, this blog is not for you...sorry).

The Best Man Holiday has a tough act to follow, but I'm sure it will be just as good as the first one.  I can't wait to catch up with Harper (Taye Diggs) and the gang.  I hope that doesn't read as corny as it felt writing it.  Ah well.  You're welcome.

Stuck: Frank Ocean - Pyramids

"Finally...JP has returned to the blogosphere!" (The Rock voice).  I know, I know...I've been gone for a minute.  I didn't want to force the creative process simply for the sake of having a post.  I'm going to ease back into it.  For the 10 of you that regularly read the blog (and yes, I am confident enough to say I have an audience of 10), I've enlisted the help of some reinforcements to make sure that hopefully, all of your pretty little eyes won't ever have to go 10 days with out reading some of my nonsense.  So, if you haven't gotten a chance give my new contributor, Dustine McClenton, a peek.  He made his first post today.

Any who, now that we're all caught up, I do believe there was a point to this post.  Since I haven't been writing regularly, my mind has fell victim to allowing random songs getting stuck within its realms regularly.  Today, it happens to be Frank Ocean's 8 minute opus to what I believe to be a stripper, Pyramids.  This song is just too damn long to get stuck in one's head, so its mostly been the second part of the song.  You know, "working at the Pyramid...tonight."  Its a jam so it's okay.  If that Forrest Gump weirdness gets stuck in my head, I might have to take a hammer to it. You're welcome.

Family Expansion

I see Mr. Powell is holding it down like Durant but I'm here to add a little Westbrook help. I'm Dustine Mcclenton but I prefer River. I am a HUGE NBA & WWE fanatic, not fan because I believe I'm pretty obsessed with them both. I told Jon about some things to add to his blog and he gave me the green light and platform to do it myself. Consider this your NWO TAKEOVER! I was born and raised in Chicago so I love me some Bulls. What I don't like is the fact that I may be seeing the end of my favorite Bull right now, Nasty Nate. I don't see the Bulls keeping 3 point guards next year when Rose comes back. I say why not because he will add more than Teague. I think they should just trade their upcoming first round pick along with another asset and finally get that shooting guard we need. The Raptors want Boozer so maybe we can get Demar DeRozan and others from them. This isn't me being a homer but I do feel they are a piece away from overtaking Miami. I fully trust Gar Foreman and John Paxson to get something done.

Another Central division team trying to make moves is the Milwaukee Bucks. They make trades every year that kind of impress me because they give less and get back more. They have some pieces but just no guidance. Enter Hall Of Famer Jerry Sloan. He just interviewed with the Bucks for their coaching vacancy. He left the meeting with just "serious consideration" which makes me ask the question of does the Bucks think they are gonna get a better coach than Jerry Sloan to come to Milwaukee?? In the words of the Miz: REALLY??? I highly doubt it.

A lot of people didn't know how Memphis trading away Rudy Gay would hurt the team. The answer is none. Adding Tayshaun Prince to that defense has worked wonders. I compare it to adding Chris Anderson to Miami's system, certain things just come together. I pick them to win the West en route to the NBA Finals. Can they beat the Heat? Why not? No one thought Dallas could do it. D-Wade's health is a major issue. Only time will tell. Thanks for your time.

Daily Throwback: Sunshine Anderson ft. Jadakiss - Heard It All Before (Remix)

On this glorious Sunday, the Shuffle God gives us another 1989 Toyota Camry banger from the summer of 2001.  Was this Sunshine's only hit?  Anyway, Jada's guest verse was on point as usual.  You're welcome.

Daily Throwback: Jay-Z - Dear Summer

With the summer season upon us, the Shuffle God gives us Jiggaman's swan song (or what we thought at the time was) to the season that brought him so much success over the years.  Jay-Z has had some solidified summer jams over the years, but with 100$ Bill, his streak might be over.  I'm sure Sean's got some actual summer time heat in store for us soon, but until then, let Dear Summer hold you over.  You're welcome.

"The Great Gatsby" Soundtrack Album Stream

This soundtrack has almost as much hype as the movie.  It was executive produced Jay-Z, and as much as it pains me to say this, I think he might have over-thought this one.  This whole thing smells like Jigga's best Kanye impersonation.

His song 100$ Bill falls flat in my opinion, there's just too much going on for my taste. As a matter of fact, that seems to be the theme of the entire soundtrack...too much going on.  Emile Sande has a remake of Beyonce's Crazy In Love, and Beyonce has a cover of Amy Winehouse's Back To Black featuring Andre 3000.  Both are over-experimental and evaporated all the soul that existed in each original.

Don't get me wrong, there are a few nice tracks on the LP, but all of the ones I was looking forward to left me disappointed.  Check it out for yourself, the NPR link for the full album stream is below.  You're welcome.

The Great Gatsby Soundtrack Full Album Stream

April Misses

Here we are again.  The critical point in time where I give you a list of the songs from this past month that were good, but did not warrant me ignoring my family to post about.  April started off kind of "meh," but finished strong, had to leave a few early favorites off the list. Oh, and for those expecting to see Daft Punk's new cut on here, I apologize now.  Its good, but let's face it, we all heard it...a lot.  Let's get to it.

Daily Throwback: Faith Evans ft. Carl Thomas - Can't Believe (Emotional Remix)

"This is the remix!" The Shuffle God went with his best Diddy impersonation on this selection.  This jam rattled the trunk of my 1989 Toyota Camry for a good portion of the summer of 2001.  Let's take the time to reminisce on the days when Bad Boy had a roster.  You're welcome.

Daily Throwback: Ghostface Killah ft. Mary J. Blige - All That I Got Is You

Sounds like the Shuffle God is starting his Mother's Day ceremonies early with this one. Ghostface is one of the best story tellers of all time...period.  You're welcome.

R.I.P. Chris Kelly of Kriss Kross

Hip-hop has it's first casualty of 2013.  Chris "Mac Daddy" Kelly, one half of the classic teenage hip-hop duo Kriss Kross along with Chris "Daddy Mac" Smith, was found dead today in his Atlanta home.  The cause of death has yet to be determined. Kelly was 34 years old.

This is truly a sad moment in hip-hop and music as a whole.  Kriss Kross dropped their debut album, Totally Krossed Out, in 1992.  It featured the massive hits Jump and Warm It Up.  These two half pint emcees had a ton of people (including yours truly) trying to go out in public with their clothes on backwards.

Let's take a moment to remember Chris and reflect on the joy Jump brought to our lives in the early months of 1992.  If you have drink in your hand as you read this, pour a little out for the Miggiddy-miggiddy-miggiddy-miggiddy Mac Daddy.  Thank you, Chris. Here's one of my Kriss Kross favorites.  You're welcome.

Killa J - May 1st

First post of the month!  First post in a few days actually.  I need to hire some help.  Who wants to write for me for Free.99 and hour? Anyone...anyone..Bueller?  Anywho...once again I just typed "May 1st" in the search box on Soundcloud, and they brought me to Killa J.  Dude is actually not that bad.  Reminds me of a rough around the edges T.I.  I might have to keep an eye out for this guy.  You're welcome.