Week Sauce (2/10 - 2/16)

I've decided to add a little consistency to this blog, and introduce a weekly segment.  To state the obvious, it's called Week Sauce.  It's basically just my favorite newsworthy moments from the week, and my special take on them. I will consider myself a somewhat credible news source for the lazy and gullible.  Let's get started shall we.

The Grammy's - What I learned from this year's edition: 1) The committee still refuses to dig deeper and nominate artists for urban categories that are NOT considered top 40, 2) Fun. won best new artist, their careers are now officially doomed, 3) CBS will risk the integrity of an institution in order to promote their own product, and 4) Maybe Frank Ocean is not built for "the big show."

The Pope Steps Down - I just imagine his convo with God being like George Steinbrenner and Billy Martin in the 70s.   Pope: "I quit!" God: "You know what, you can't quit, 'cuz you're fired!" Then they get into the whole "less filling/taste great" debate and we all laugh.  Good luck in your future endeavours, Benedict.

State of the Union/Chris Dorner Standoff- I'd rather refer to this as the Obama/Dorner/Rubio Comedy Hour.  Watching John Boehner roll his eyes like Paris Hilton in Wal-Mart every time Obama tried to be poignant bundled with the California State Police fumble over the details of the Dorner standoff was definitely must-see-TV, but it didn't end there. Little did we know, Dorner and Obama were just warming up the crowd for the headliner, Marco Rubio. Rubio is a comedic genius without even knowing it.  He looked like a nervous 5th grader giving a speech on why he loves dinosaurs.  Then he pulled the old water gag, hilarious!  If Marco would have wrapped with a spit take, he would be the second coming of Jerry Lewis.

Russian Meteor - A meteor explodes over Russia the same day a new Bruce Willis action flick that is set in Russia premiers.  Couldn't have wrote it any better.  By the way, over 1000 people were injured.

NBA All-Star Saturday Night - No matter how progressively bad the events get, I still am compelled to watch.  Tell me of another event where you can have Julius "Dr. J" Irving and shitty swag rapper French Montana exchange pleasantries, a cracked out Steve Francis, Phillip Phillips, and 1000 strippers all under one roof? For that, you only have 2 options, heaven or all-star weekend.

Till next week, my friends...and until then, please stop it with the damn Harlem Shake videos.  That shit is not cute or amusing.