Black is the New Orange: Episode 3...The Return...Again

Welp, after a brief disappearance, I'm officially back in the restaurant game. Fuck me, right? This time around, the game has definitely changed, and much like mainstream hip-hop, not for the better. I have come in contact with a few new characters this time around, and with this long awaited third installment of Black is the New Orange, I'm gonna introduce their stankin' asses to you...all of my fans...all three of you (hi mom).

Happy Birthday Christopher George Latore Wallace

No matter the name you knew recognized him as (Notorious B.I.G., or Biggie Smalls, or the Black Frank White), the man was an all-time favorite.  Notice I didn't say "great."  I just find it hard to put him in the top 5 with such a small portfolio of work.  Only 2 albums of original work.  If we judged artist by only their first 2 albums, Jay-Z might have stayed retired and the Fugees would still be together.

Don't get me wrong, the man had unbelievable skills.  He was the master of his era, but I'm a firm believer that true greatness in hip-hop is measured by how an artist transcends through different eras.  I'm sure he would only have gotten better, but due to tragic circumstances, we'll never know for sure. To help celebrate what would have been his 41st year on Earth, please find some time today to listen to your favorite B.I.G. song.  Here's mine.  You're welcome.

Just Sayin':10 Eating Out Commandments

Three weeks in to my (so far) triumphant full time return to the restaurant game, and from what I see nothing much has changed from the guest side of things.  If it weren't for dealing with incompetent management, lazy-ass co-workers, and dumb guests on a daily basis, this job would be cake.

Since I already hit you all with some of my pet peeves concerning restaurant managers, this edition I decided to make a top ten list of "don'ts" for being guests at a restaurant, we'll get to the lazy-ass co-workers at a later date.  For some reason, people go out to eat and forget all basic etiquette and house training.  You throw video games in the mix, and it becomes a complete system overload for some people.

Don't get me wrong, not all guests are dickheads, but it is the dickheads that make the lasting impressions.  For the readers that have never worked in "the industry", please take heed of what I say.  These 10 situations are the most annoying things for any server to experience.  I numbered them, but they are all number one.  Well, number one is actually number one, so I guess the other nine are all number two.  

I've also included Biggie's Ten Crack Commandments instrumental to play as you read. Consider it a mood setter.  Let us begin, shall we.