50 Shades of Grey: The Bizzaro Affect.
So, I was there in 2008 San Diego for the big Comic Con reveal of Twilight. Not because of Twilight, because I'm a nerd and was there with a bachelor party for the Mystery Science Theater 3000 reunion. We do it big. A friend of mine and I got lost, (the place is huge) and we wound up coming out on the back end of the convention center. There were hundreds of women out there screaming and shouting, so we thought something amazing was happening. We pulled one of the lovely ladies aside (which ranged in age from 12-60) and asked, "What's all this about?"
"Robert Pattinson's here!" she yelled, and she pointed to a disheveled dude walking about 15 feet away, into the area we had just stumbled out of.
I was like, "Oh, Cedric Diggory's here? I didn't realize people loved Harry Potter 4 as much as I did." and was quickly corrected. Apparently there was this book called Twilight that girls (and some dudes) love. Robert Pattinson was going to play the lead in that movie, and ladies all over the world couldn't be more pleased. No one had even SEEN a trailer for the movie yet (It was going to premiere later that weekend), and they were just so excited to be there.
For nerds, this is not the case. Any casting choice (as seen recently) is met with an almost immediate uproar, and some sort of stupid petition to remove the actor from the role. Like all movie companies are supposed to know what every nerd in America wants from their stupid movies.
Now, the next big book for ladies (hopefully a higher age demographic) is going to the big screen. 50 Shades of Gray. I have seen this book being read by moms from soccer fields to McDonald's playlands. Now, I really only mention Twilight because this book started as a "love story tribute" to the main characters of that series. Or as nerds call it, "erotic fan fiction." What creeps me out a little, is that these ladies are getting all hot and bothered right out in the open. If a dude was out there reading a Maxim magazine and ignoring his kids to look at ladies sexy pictures, they'd run him out of there fast. I don't know much about 50 Shades, but I know it is all about sex.
This is really about the casting. See, a few names have been put out there, and all I have heard from ladies are "oohs" and "aahs." Not, "Channing Tatum is going to ruin the sanctity of the character of Christian Grey!" These are clearly big fans of the source material, so why are they so open to almost anyone being announced? I mean, I'd get their outrage if they announced Louis CK as the lead, because he's clearly too old and dumpy for the role (sorry LCK). Ian Sommerhalder, Ryan Gosling, and Charlie Hunnam are among the names in the mix, and I just don't see any ladies trying to burn the internet down over these names being out there. In fact, I told a group of women over the weekend, that Charlie Hunnam (Sons of Anarchy's Jax) was reported to be in the running for the lead character, and they all made, "lady noises," to express approval. I then told them that if they wanted, they could look through any season of Sons, and see that dude getting it on with a lady. My wife told me that it wasn't, "about that," that [she] wants to see this damaged character of Christian Gray, portrayed by a smoldering hunk. So, I guess now all I have to do is monitor how much Sons of Anarchy she's watching when I'm not around.
Also, I informed them that Showtime had "50 Shades" style programming nearly every night after 11 pm, for almost 20 years. This did not go over too well, especially at a 7 year-old's baseball game.
Maybe women will be upset about the casting, maybe they won't, but for some reason, they just won't be as vocal about it as 36 year-old dudes who live in their step-dad's basement are about Ben Affleck. BAT-FLECK FOREVER!
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