Week Sauce (4/21 - 4/27)

I decided to drop this edition of Week Sauce today, just to bring some joy to everybody's Monday.  I'm keeping it light and hitting you with an all sports themed edition (and no, Jason Collins coming out is not sports news, I don't care what you say.  It would be more shocking news if they found evidence that Chris Bosh was straight).

On your mark, get set, go...
NBA Playoffs: No D-Rose, no Kobe, and no Rondo, but these playoffs are still producing.  My bad, D-Rose is playing, he's just wearing a Nate Robinson costume.  How 'bout my Bulls!?!?! Up 3-1 on the Nets, without their MVP and having Noah play on one foot.  Amazing!

Ok, let me stop being a homer.  Elsewhere, Steph Curry is playing like he's at Davidson in March.  Despite the fact that he looks like a 12 year old Chris Brown, Curry has grown man playoff game, leading the Warriors to a series lead despite losing double-double machine David Lee for the post season.

So many story lines and questions.  Can Kevin Durant get his Thunder back to the Finals with his sidekick Russell Westbrook on the shelf for the remainder of the playoffs?  Will LeBron and the Heat lose a playoff game?  Is Derrick Rose just waiting for the Heat series to come back?  Will Carmelo play defense?  Tune in around mid-June for the answer to these and other questions.

Michael Jordan Gets Married...Again:  This weekend, MJ married his long time girlfriend and Cuban model, Yvette Prieto.  Reason # 3,235,785 why it has to suck to be one of Michael Jordan's sons (at least the ones that he claims).  Not only is he still a more gifted athlete that you will ever be, and not in your wildest dreams will you ever be able to match his level of success, but you can't even pull finer women than him. Fifty years old, still pulling model chicks, "...sometimes I dream, that he was me."

2013 NFL Draft:  The least exciting NFL draft in recent history.  I thought I was watching the season
premier of the new season of The Biggest Loser with all those 300 pound white men walking across the stage.  Fundamentally sound draft...ain't nobody got time for that!

Jon "Bones" Jones Embarrasses Chael Sonnen:  It's been a while since I've seen a man talk an insane amount of shit, and not even show up to fight.  Jones caused more damage to himself during this fight by managing to break his toe (that thing looked like half a pretzel).  Hopefully, we get the super fight of Jones versus Anderson Silva soon, I won't get my hopes up though, I've learned from Pacquiao and Mayweather.

There it is, your poor man's ESPN Bottom Line for the week.  You're welcome.