Week Sauce (4/7 - 4/13)

Shit is blowing up in Boston! That's next week though.  Can't wait to see what brown skinned person is blamed for that one.  Enough with the foreplay, let us begin.


Louisville Wins The 2013 NCAA National Championship: Despite bones sticking through skin, Rick Pitino and the Cardinals defeated Michigan and all their NBA offspring to win the best playoff in all of televised sports.  It was the best championship game since Derrick Rose decided to give Kansas the game by missing clutch free throws.  The best part came when Jenna Shea, celebrity groupie (if you want to count Soulja Boy and Bow Wow as celebrities), got jealous when Peyton Siva gave props to his girlfriend, and put him on Twitter blast.  Side chicks seem to have lost their way.

WrestleMania 29: So much potential, so much disappointment.  I'm not queer or nothing, but f*ck John Cena.  How dare he beat The Rock. Undertaker kept his streak, Diddy performed, and Brock Lesnar lost.  The whole card was bullshit.  The following night's episode of Raw was off the chain though.  Ziggler cashed in, and probably the best live audience in the history of professional wrestling.



Reebok Ends Rick Ross Endorsement: Mr. Rozay came under the realization that he can't say what he wants.  On Rocko's (who?) current hit, U.O.E.N.O., Ross unknowingly glorified date rape by stating, "Put Molly all in her champagne, she ain’t even know it. I took her home and I enjoyed that, she ain’t even know it."  Surprisingly, no matter how garbage the artist is, people were listening.  Amidst the criticism, Reebok ended their endorsement deal with the fake ass Biggie Smalls, which goes to show that 300 pound rappers aren't meant to be the face of athletic companies.  Great tits by the way, Rozay.  Keep your damn shirt on, son!

Coachella 2013:  It has been really hard to hide my bitterness for the moments that Coachella creates compared to the nothingness my hometown Lollapalooza creates.  After hitting us with hologram Tupac last year, in two days, Coachella brought R. Kelly out of hiding, re-united Wu-Tang and Jurassic 5, and saw Beyonce's little sister, Solange, just kill it.  The best moment of the weekend may have been when Baauer faked the crowd out and didn't play Harlem Shake, only to return after his set and give the crowd what they want.



Suicide At NASCAR Event:  I can't count how many times I threatened to shoot myself in the head if I had to watch a NASCAR race.  My man Kirk Franklin (no God's Property) kept it 100.





Finally, some shit happened.  Let me know what I missed.  You're welcome.