Fall TV Preview: 7 Best Returning Characters

Can you smell it? The smell of new fall TV, and so far it's scent smells free of Gordon Ramsey, ugh nevermind there's a Master Chef kids edition. Really though, how many shows does that man need? He's like a mean Dick Clark in a chef's jacket.

This is the time of the year old standards return, and the networks try to cram new characters down our throats. Call me old fashioned, but I don't know about the six of you that read this blog, but when I choose to regularly include show into my television viewing habits, I'm in it with said show's characters for the long haul, so it takes a lot for me to allow a new one in my life. It's all about commitment, people!

To show you who I hold dear to my TV viewing heart, I devised a list of my favorite characters from shows I watch that are returning this fall.

(Sidebar #1: Keep in mind I said "returning this fall", so I don't want to hear any of that "What about Workaholics?" shit. They don't start up again until next year.)

(Sidebar #2: Keep in mind I said "shows I watch", so I don't want to hear any of that "What about Sons of Anarchy or Walking Dead?" shit. You can get mad if you want to, but they don't see the light of day on my DVR.)

Fall TV Preview: Tim's Top 5 Newbies

So, to say I watch a lot of TV is a bit of an understatement.  Every Fall I get real frantic with my DVR, and bring it to capacity 3-4 times a week.  This Fall is no different, and with 5 new shows that I'm really looking forward to(not to mention the other 20-30 that I'll watch based on my addiction), I hope my DVR can take it.  Let's take a look at what I'm feeling this year.

Trailer: True Detectives (New HBO Series)

Goddammit, HBO! I just can't quit you!(no Brokeback) Every time I think I can escape your couch potato inducing clutches, you draw me back in.

This shit right here (Katt Williams voice...where is Katt by the way...any who) looks like the truth. I can't hate on Matthew McConaughey, even though he does need to start making more of a conscious effort to keep his shirt on. He's a good actor. Then you go and throw in Woody Harrelson? That just unfair! How do you expect me to break by Home Box Office addiction when you do shit like that? Woody is the man.

Well, I guess you got me locked in a little longer HBO, well played. I will be eagerly awaiting this drama series' debut in January. This looks like it could take the drama game back from AMC. In my opinion, McConaughey does his best work while working off dark scripted plots. I guess I found my hold over until network spring finale season.  You're welcome.

Daily Throwback: Cypress Hill - How I Can Just Kill A Man

The Shuffle God is feeling a little feisty with this one. Cypress Hill introduced me to a whole world of hip-hop with their first album, Cypress Hill. Hailing from California, Cypress Hill came out at time when it was too easy differentiate between West Coast and East Coast hip-hop, but refused to let their region define their sound. Both B-Real's nasal delivery and Sen Dog's booming ad libs are iconic sounds of hip-hop history. DJ Muggs production was second to none, and to this day his sound cannot be duplicated. This song was one of my summer anthems when I was 12 years old, it made me want to rock a flannel button-up and a wool skully in July. I wore this tape out. You're welcome.

Trailer: RoboCop

Let it be known that all major Hollywood studios will not rest until every movie icon from the 1980s is remade and revamped. I can see it now..."Vin Diesel as Sylvester Stallone as Cobra" or "Zac Efron goes back in time to 1992 in a Toyota Prius time machine in Back to the Future!" I literally had to swallow back a little bit of vomit as I typed that.

It's happening people, our childhood has become nostalgic fodder to be reheated like a cheap TV dinner by Hollywood execs.  It's only a matter of time before they snatch up The Goonies and The Gremlins.

Now normally I am the first one to write-off a remake (they should have left The Karate Kid & Total Recall alone), but I must say, after watching this trailer for retooled RoboCop, I'm mildly excited about seeing the final product.  It looks like they gave the RoboCop character more of a human element, and more awareness that he has been made into somewhat of a law enforcement monster. 

The movie drops in 2014, and it should be a contender for highest grossing, and why shouldn't it be? It's got Samuel "Muthaphuckin'" Jackson in a wig. Check out the trailer. You're welcome.

Mike Patton: Top 11

I can't stop talking about Mike Patton.

Mike Patton is the lead singer for Faith No More, Mr. Bungle, Fantomas, Tomahawk, Peeping Tom, and has appeared on many other projects as well.

I feel like Mike Patton has made some of the greatest music of all time, and will continue to do so for a while. The man picks projects to simply work with people he hasn't before, so he can grow musically.  This is a sign of a great artist.  The sad fact is, he's not really known for anything other than his singing duties in Faith No More.  Mike Patton is an artist that goes from hip hop to classical, and does it all with ease.

Glove Love

Recently Gary Payton did an interview where he said John Stockton was the hardest person he ever had to guard. Those unfamiliar with Gary Payton, he is a NBA Defensive Player Of The Year winner. He has been on multiple NBA All-Defensive teams, and next to Scottie Pippen, he is arguably the best on-ball defender in NBA history.