I just realized that I don't share enough of me on this blog. I can thank a couple of pitchers of Miller Lite for this epiphany, so I'm going to share my up to the minute thoughts about myself right now.
Let's see, I'm 33 years old, and I'm a husband, a father and a homeowner. I have a college degree, a full time job with benefits, and I have never been more scared or had a bigger of feeling of insecurity in my life than I do now. Why? I don't know. I think I feel like I'm a crossroads in my life. I work at a job I don't really like and I hate waking up for, and when I'm there I feel like sabotaging myself to get fired.
I feel like my only choices are to continue on in my current path and and hate a minimum of 40 hours a week of my life just to stay afloat, or to stop and take a major risk and fail and lose everything...the only thing is, I don't know what that risk is.
I guess everyone feels like there is a path that they should be on, and I believe that for myself, the only problem is I'm having difficulties finding the starting point of that path. I wish I was the type of person that can be optimistic about about a risk, but seeing how almost everything I touch turns to shit, its difficult for me not to be a pessimist.
My biggest fear is to allow myself to age and never utilize the tools I have within myself and become resentful of myself.
The washer just finished, got to put my shirt in the dryer and go to sleep so I can do something I hate tomorrow, so I'll stop now.
By the way, D.R. = Drunk Rant, maybe they'll be more, maybe not. Good night, and thank god for spell check.
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