A lot of weird shit this week. Let's get into it, shall we.
The Oscars - Seth MacFarlane hosting still couldn't keep most people interested. Upset of the night: Denzel not winning for his picture perfect portrayal of how Morgan Freeman would play an alcoholic pilot in Flight. Best moment of the night: Jennifer Lawrence tripping up the stairs to accept her Oscar. Man, I love it when pretty girls do clumsy shit.
50 Cent at the Daytona 500 - Curtis loves money. He knows he has no NASCAR knowledge, but still accepted the check. Then he tweeted that there were no black people at the race...no shit. He ended his day by leaning in for a kiss and getting rejected by Fox Sports reporter Erin Andrews. If it were 2003 and Fiddy was still relevant, Erin might have gave him a smooch.
Hammer Gets Arrested - Almost 25 years later, and Hammer finally gets his street cred. Man, get your registration updated, you're too old not to know better.
The Continuing Sequester Saga - In January it was the ever so terrifying "fiscal cliff," in February it was the "sequester" making scary noises under people's bed. Why is shit always on the brink? Did we not see these budget problems coming? Oh wait, both sides were busy convincing us that Obama's jump shot will save us all and that Romney was not a robot from the future sent back in time to take all of our money. Sad part is, 75% of the country probably doesn't know what sequester means.
Dennis Rodman Goes to North Korea - Dennis the diplomat, this world is truly crazy. You really can't make this shit up. Only The Worm can go and kick it with Kim Jong Un, like they are old high school buddies that recently reconnected via Facebook. I envision part of his visit occurring on bunk beds while playing Mario Kart. Kim Jong Un venting from the top bunk like a school girl trying to get in with the in-crowd. "Obama never calls, I thought we were going to be friends. Can you talk to him for me, Dennis? Tell him how cool I am, and how much fun we had. I'm way more fun than Francois Hollande." Then Dennis being like "Yeah, yeah, pass the coke...and tell Ling-Ling I'm ready for my happy ending."
We should keep the ball rolling and send clinically insane ex-athletes on goodwill missions on the countries behalf all over the world. We could send Mike Tyson to Iran, Lawrence Taylor to Venezuela, and Jose Canseco to Afghanistan...genius! You're welcome, and remember, if its news you don't care about, I'll write about it. Be safe out there.
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