Week Sauce (4/21 - 4/27)

I decided to drop this edition of Week Sauce today, just to bring some joy to everybody's Monday.  I'm keeping it light and hitting you with an all sports themed edition (and no, Jason Collins coming out is not sports news, I don't care what you say.  It would be more shocking news if they found evidence that Chris Bosh was straight).

On your mark, get set, go...

NBA: Jason Collins Announces He's Gay (All You Need To Know)

WHO CARES!?!?!?

WHY DO WE WORRY SO MUCH ABOUT SEXUAL PREFERENCE IN SPORTS?!?!!?

FEMALE ATHLETES DON'T CARE, WHY DO MALES??!!?!

LET'S MOVE ON TO MORE IMPORTANT ISSUES, SHALL WE!!!

...oh yeah, almost forgot...

YOU'RE WELCOME!!!

Daily Throwback: Da Band - I Like Your Style

The Shuffle God has a sense of humor too.  Dylan, Dylan, Dylan...I spit hot fire! Diddy's least profitable endeavour somehow sneaks on my blog.  This best part about this group was their Chappelle's 
Show parody.  You're welcome.

Daily Throwback: H-Town - Knockin' Da Boots

What happened to the R&B group? That's what I think the Shuffle God is asking with this selection.  We used to have H-Town, Boyz II Men, Jodeci, Hi-Five, Guy, etc.  Now we got nothing. Nowadays, everyone wants to be a solo star, but nobody can make a hit like this.  Hard to believe this song is already 20 years old.  You're welcome.

Stuck: Rick Derringer - Real American (Hulk Hogan's Theme Song)

Don't ask me why, but this has been stuck in my head all day.  Now may it rub off on you.  You're welcome.

Daily Throwback: Peter, Bjorn, & John - Young Folks

The Shuffle God must be feeling a little hipster-ish today with this pick.  There's nothing wrong with this one though. This is one of those nice day/long drive/windows down/reflect and smile songs.  Its too chilly for that today, so hold off until next week. You're welcome.

New Music: Childish Gambino - Think Of Me

I know, I know, I'm a little late posting this.  What can I say, I'm selfish. I was trying to keep this one to myself for as long as possible.  Donald Glover a.k.a. Childish Gambino has done it again, this time for Funkmaster Flex's new mixtape, Who You Mad At? Me or Yourself? If I didn't love Community so much, I would wish that Donald would give up acting and focus full time on rhyming. I know, I'm being selfish again, but just listen to the track and you'll agree.  He kills it! He lends the perfect bars to this beat.  Good way to move into the warmer season (I refuse to call it spring yet, just warmer than winter, kinda).  You're welcome.

"Lenny Cooke" Trailer

With every LeBron-Kobe-Carmelo success story, there are a million hoop dreams that develop tragic endings.  We all have heard the legends of Ronnie Fields, Len Bias, and Benji Wilson, all the potential in the world, yet never getting a chance see their dreams become reality.  Very few outside the basketball world know the name Lenny Cooke, but a while back, he was projected to be a household name.  He was supposed to be the Bird to LeBron's Magic, but he wasn't ready for the limelight, and fate had other plans for him.  Debuted at the Tribeca Film Festival this week, this documentary details the incomplete destiny of New York playground legend Lenny Cooke.  The trailer is powerful, I can't wait to see the entire documentary. You're welcome.

New Music: Janelle Monae ft. Erykah Badu - Q.U.E.E.N.

Damn.  Wow.  The title says it all. I don't think these two paid attention to Beyonce with her Bow Down sentiments.  Janelle Monae and Erykah Badu on the same track, if that doesn't draw you in, I don't know what will.  From the first chord, this song just exudes power.  You can keep your Bieber and will.i.am mash-ups, the game definitely needs more creative collaborations like this.  You're welcome.

Daily Throwback: Marvin Gaye - Got To Give It Up

The Shuffle God went way back went this one.  Who hasn't Marvin Gaye influence, I mean Pharrell basically stole this beat paid homage to Marvin when creating Robin Thicke's current hit Blurred Lines. This song just emotes good energy, I'm nodding my head as I type this up.  All we need is some Al Green, some Isley Brothers, some sunshine, a grill, a Spades provoked fist fight between cousins, and we got ourselves a classic barbecue, baby!  You're welcome.

Follower Critique: Fantom - Missing You

Well, lets just hope this edition doesn't hurt too many feelings.  Let's just say I lost a couple of followers after my review of LoveRaychelMusic. Ah well, all I can do is tell the truth.

The Twitter follower I am critiquing this week is a hip-hop artist that goes by the name of Fantom (@Fantomtime).  According to Twitter, Fantom is from Canada, continental home to Drake and the OVO family.  From that aspect, Fantom has some big footprints to follow in, but for the most part, this kid has potential.

NBA: Mike Brown Comes Back to Cleveland to Coach the Cavs.

Money heals all wounds.  Mike Brown was fired by the Cavs in 2010, and has now accepted a four year, $20 million deal to return and coach Uncle Drew and the crew.

Poor Mike, accepting yet another job from a team that really wanted Phil Jackson.  Here's the story from ESPN:

"Thor: The Dark World" Trailer

I'm a huge geek when it comes to these movies based on Marvel comics.  I love the link each film creates to other superheros in the Marvel Universe.  This Thor sequel is set to be released in November, but Marvel Studios just released a sneak peek trailer in the UK.  You're welcome.

New Music: Twista ft. R.Kelly - Throwin' My Money

I'm not a fan of this song at all, but I feel it is my duty to feature music from Chicago artists, and especially Chicago icons like Twista and R. Kelly. What we have here is another example of older artists forcing themselves to create music in the mold in what is perceived as popular today.

These two are getting up there in age, isn't it about time that they diversify their subject matter. Something about 40 year-olds crooning about making it rain on strippers' booties seems so passe.  They both probably have grandchildren they don't know about somewhere. As young as Robert seems to like them, he might have some great-grandchildren floating around.  Well here it is, a song that sounds like everything else, but worse and more contrived.  You're welcome.

Daily Throwback: Pharrell ft. Jay-Z - Frontin'

I think the Shuffle God is speaking to the artists with this selection.  It has definitely been a minute since we've been blessed by a track from Hov and Skateboard P.  I think its time.  The ball is now in your court, Shawn and Pharrell.  Until then...you're welcome.

Daily Throwback: Cherrelle ft. Alexander O'Neal - Saturday Love

I know that the Shuffle God is all-knowing and ambivalent, but I have to admit, this is an odd choice for a Monday.  This joint reminds me of Saturday mornings, my mom shutting down the TV and blasting old school jams like this as she cleaned our apartment.  The whole time I'm trying to look busy so she doesn't give me a chore.  I guess just reminisce on the past weekend with song, unless you work in the restaurant industry, then try to forget.  You're welcome.

Week Sauce (4/14 - 4/20)

Good evening (Hitchcock voice).  We all know what went down this week, so instead of pretending that there were more newsworthy events, I decided to provide some candid commentary on the Boston Marathon bombing.

First and foremost, the tragic events that occurred on Monday and carried on throughout the week should not be downplayed.  That disgusting act was committed by an equally disgusting individual or group of individuals.

This event solidified many opinions I hold about the media, the government, and our society as a whole.  Rather than rehash what happened in Boston, let me just get to the source of my opinions.

Daily Throwback: Mobb Deep ft. Lil' Kim - Quiet Storm (Remix)

I guess Saturdays aren't meant to be with my current work schedule.  As you can see, the Shuffle God is a forgiving god, and he still hit us with this lovely piece of sunshine today.  This cut is truly a classic, from the flip of Grandmaster Flash's White Lines baseline on the beat, to Lil' Kim's memorable verse.  You're welcome.

Daily Throwback: Lost Boyz - Music Makes Me High

The Shuffle God says R.I.P. Freaky Tah.  'Nuff said.  You're welcome.

Daily Throwback: Robin Thicke - Lost Without You

On this wet morning, the Shuffle God has decided to hit us with a slow jam from Alan's son a.k.a. Mike Seaver.  Just go with it, I guess.  You're welcome.

Follower Critique: LoveRaychelMusic - Right On Time

Since I opened a Twitter page for this blog, I've gotten a lot of follows from aspiring musicians.  Why, you ask.  I'm guessing they want me to feature their music on my blog.  Not a problem, but it comes with a price...I must give it an honest critique (unless you send a check, then I'll say its the greatest thing since Thriller, or whatever else you want me to write...every man has a price...no Ted DiBiase).

Two things I hope to accomplish with this: 1) I can help get quality, unheard artists a little bit of exposure (not much because let's face it, this blog is going nowhere fast), and 2) Brutal reviews will get shitty artists to shy away and leave me alone.

Daily Throwback: Wu-Tang Clan - Protect Ya Neck

"Yo, you know I had to call, you know why, right?..."  Classic intro to a classic song.  The Shuffle God hit us with The Avengers of hip-hop this morning.  It's really hard to believe that its been 20 years since this was released.  Funny how time flies while shittier music is being released.  Enjoy your Wednesday.  You're welcome.

Pink N Chewy T-Shirt Company

Do you enjoy sexual innuendo/toilet humor and t-shirts, and have long been waiting for a product that combines the two?  Well wait no longer, Pink N Chewy T-Shirt Company is here to fill that void.

Pink N Chewy is a fairly new online t-shirt store specializes in "stylishly inappropriate" t-shirts for men, women, and "the gays" (don't hate on me GLAAD, its what the site says). If its dick jokes you want on your chest, then its dick jokes you get.

The shirts look great and are reasonably priced at 28 bucks a pop.  They all seem to have a vintage look and feel to them, which I like.  What can I say, I like my t-shirts like I like my women...3 holes, worn, and full of obscenities.

Not so fast, gays...Pink N Chewy tries to offend everyone: women, club goers, short d*ck men, bros, Estevezes, and etcetera.  Don't feel left out paraplegics and Catholics (or any combination of the two), I hear Pink N Chewy is gunning for you soon enough.

With the weather slowly moving towards t-shirt weather (and when I say slow, I'm talking Mississippi public school slow), there is no better time than now to check out the Pink N Chewy website and step your summer time inappropriate t-shirt game up.

Here are a few of my favorite shirts on the site, and the link the site is listed below.  Just remember, with each t-shirt purchase, $28 is donated to the Douche Bags Anonymous charity, a very serious ailment that both co-owners suffer from.  Take a gander.  You're welcome.

 

The Pink N Chewy T-Shirt Company

Where Are They Now?: YouTube Sensation Edition

I can't count the number of times I thought to myself "whatever happened to the Chocolate Rain guy?" Well instead of waiting for Tosh.0 to do a web redemption for you favorite Internet has-been, check out this flow chart that lets us catch up with 20 YouTube sensations from the past.

T-Mac is Back!!!

Today, the San Antonio Spurs have done what the Orlando Magic failed to do in 2000, unite Tim Duncan and Tracy McGrady.  T-Mac was signed today, and will be eligible to be on the Spurs playoff roster.  The Spurs have now become my sentimental favorite to win the NBA championship.  It would be nice to see Tracy get a final shot at that championship ring that has eluded him his entire career.

Here's the full story via ESPN.

Daily Throwback: The Verve - Bittersweet Symphony

This was an odd choice, but who am I to argue with the wishes of the Shuffle God.  Truth be told, I don't even know how this got on my iTunes.  Ah well.  You're welcome.

Week Sauce (4/7 - 4/13)

Shit is blowing up in Boston! That's next week though.  Can't wait to see what brown skinned person is blamed for that one.  Enough with the foreplay, let us begin.

Daily Throwback: Kid Cudi ft. Kanye West & Common - I Make Her Say

Good morning and happy Monday.  Today, the Shuffle God presents us with the only song that I find Lady Gaga's voice tolerable.  This song was in constant rotation in my car the summer it came out, and after today it could easily find its way back.  Enjoy.  Week Sauce will be coming today, and maybe another Just Sayin'. You're welcome.

Daily Throwback: Aretha Franklin - A Rose Is Still A Rose

See, I neglected the Shuffle God yesterday, and it was horrible day.  I won't make that mistake again.  Luckily he showed mercy today and hit us with the legendary Ms. Franklin.  Fun fact: Lauryn Hill wrote this song for Aretha and sang background vocals for the recording.  A great nice weather song.  You're welcome.

Daily Throwback: Busta Rhymes - Woo Hah (I Got You All In Check)

The Shuffle God hits us with some classic Busta today. I must say I miss this unpredictable version of Bussa Buss.  I guess we all have to mature sometime.  You're welcome.

Accidental Racist Recap

After my post on Brad Paisley and LL Cool J's ridiculous collaboration, Accidental Racist, I was kind of accused on Facebook of not "understanding" the meaning behind the song.  Generally I'm an asshole towards such criticism, but this time I thought maybe the overall ridiculous sound to the song prejudiced my opinion. So I thought, maybe I need to read the lyrics to get a better understanding of the song.  I ventured out into the inter-web to find the exact lyrics, not before responding to my nay-sayer with some undeniable knowledge.

I found the lyrics and read them.  Before I give you my opinion, I figured I'd post them and let you formulate your own true opinion.

Jay-Z - Open Letter

From the King of Pop, to new music from the King of Hip-Hop. What an eventful morning its been so far.  It seems Jay is a little pissed from a few things.  First from being forced to sell his shares of his beloved Brooklyn Nets in order to pursue ambitions to become an agent to NBA players. Then, there's the whole being investigated for going to Cuba for his and Beyonce's anniversary this past weekend. Looks like some higher ups took his bars from Otis a little too literally (Welcome to Havana/Smokin' Cubanas with Castro in cabanas).

I definitely understand the league's position, it definitely would be a conflict of interest.  Being the business man Jay is, he probably understands too, but he found a perfect opportunity to vent.

I love angry Hov.  His lyrics come off so much more fluid when he has something to get off his chest.  Plus, what other artist do you know that can get Swizz Beatz and Timbaland to come to the studio and make a beat so that they can "vent"?  Only Jigga.  You're welcome.

Daily Throwback: Michael Jackson - Billie Jean

I did not expect to hear this one this morning, but hey, anything is possible with the Shuffle God.  The King of Pop at his greatest, can't deny that.  You're welcome.

Miguel ft. Kendrick Lamar - How Many Drinks (Remix)

For my 100th post, I feature this month's Vibe Magazine cover boys.  Kendrick has jumped on the remix to Miguel's How Many Drinks from his Grammy nominated LP Kaleidoscope Dream, and produced a stellar product.  These two represent the future of hip-hop and R&B done right, and they definitely did this remix right.  Could you imagine a Best of Both Worlds type album from these two? It would be amazing.  Hov and Kellz created their album after a simply great remix (Fiesta).  I'm not sayin', I'm just sayin'.  You're welcome.

Daily Throwback: Shaggy ft. Janet Jackson - Luv Me, Luv Me

The Shuffle God showed his cruelty today by giving us this tropical themed jam on this rainy day.  What the hell happened to Shaggy anyway? His Muppet sounding ass was on top of the world at one point, then he just disappeared. This song might have been the pinnacle of his career, he got Janet to do the hook. You're welcome.

Just Sayin':10 Eating Out Commandments

Three weeks in to my (so far) triumphant full time return to the restaurant game, and from what I see nothing much has changed from the guest side of things.  If it weren't for dealing with incompetent management, lazy-ass co-workers, and dumb guests on a daily basis, this job would be cake.

Since I already hit you all with some of my pet peeves concerning restaurant managers, this edition I decided to make a top ten list of "don'ts" for being guests at a restaurant, we'll get to the lazy-ass co-workers at a later date.  For some reason, people go out to eat and forget all basic etiquette and house training.  You throw video games in the mix, and it becomes a complete system overload for some people.

Don't get me wrong, not all guests are dickheads, but it is the dickheads that make the lasting impressions.  For the readers that have never worked in "the industry", please take heed of what I say.  These 10 situations are the most annoying things for any server to experience.  I numbered them, but they are all number one.  Well, number one is actually number one, so I guess the other nine are all number two.  

I've also included Biggie's Ten Crack Commandments instrumental to play as you read. Consider it a mood setter.  Let us begin, shall we.

Shame Ol' Song: Brad Paisley ft. LL Cool J - Accidental Racist

WHAT. THE. F*CK! Why LL, why? This whole song sounds like an SNL skit gone bad, but sadly its meant to be taken seriously.  I'm speechless, no critique is necessary, just listen for yourself.  Did LL just give a shout out to Abe Lincoln for freeing him? Where were these men's publicists.  Oh, the fuckery!  You're wel...no...no, no, no.  I'm sorry.

Daily Throwback: Gift of Gab - The Way of the Light

Today the Shuffle God blesses us with Blackalicious' front man Gift of Gab's The Way of the Light. Some of you might remember this beat was used in a Coke commercial about 8 years ago.  Like the motto says, enjoy.  You're welcome.

Stuck: Justin Timberlake - Pusher Love Girl

This song has been stuck in my mind for the last 3 days.  Hopefully I can pass it on to some of you.  Don't get me wrong, this is a damn good song to have stuck in your head.  It has a certain little Prince quality to it.  JT did his thing with this one.  You're welcome.

Big Sean ft. Common - Switch Up

"Oh gawd!!!" This weekend, Big Sean dropped the first single from his sophomore album titled Hall of Fame.  It features his G.O.O.D. Music associate and Chi-Town god Common.  When I first heard the beat, I thought it worked for Sean, but I didn't know what Common was going to do with it.  Boy, did Mr. Sense shock me.  Not only did he go in on the beat, but he sounded like he had fun with it.  Common is forever showing his versatility on the mic.  Overall, a solid cut that will get play in the HHR.  Go ahead and give it a listen. You're welcome.

Daily Throwback: Raphael Saadiq ft. Q-Tip - Get Involved

The Shuffle God hit me with a jam featuring two of my favorite artists.  Nothing like a song with a sunshine vibe on a rainy day.  You're welcome.

Week Sauce (3/31 - 4/6)

Welcome back to the poor man's written version of Best Week Ever, and when I say poor man's, I'm talking destitute.  I'm talking that golden voiced homeless guy on YouTube last year poor.  I'm talking declined LINK Card broke.  I'm talking...well I think you get it.  It's getting late, so let's get to it shall we.

Daily Throwback: The Roots ft. Jill Scott - You Got Me (Live)

I decided to pray to the Shuffle God a little (a lot) early today.  I had a couple drinks and I have to work in the morning (a few hours), so I probably won't (or want to) wake up early enough to post in the morning.  So here it is.  The live Jill Scott version, powerful.  You're welcome.

Preach: Relevancy

So, by now, many of you have heard the new Ray J song or either heard about it.  For those that have no idea what I'm talking about, Ray J (yes, Brandy's brother) has released a song called I Hit It First.  Judging from the single artwork (seen above),  the "it" Ray J is referring to is Kim Kardashian's vagina.  Some make look at this move as bold, I see it as desperate.

Who is really checking for Ray J nowadays?  Nobody.  So, how else can Ray create a buzz in an industry he never really conquered in the first place? Controversy, that's how, or as I like to call it, the "50 Cent Method."

Sure, Ray J got the buzz he wanted, but the two people that should care (Kanye and Kim) aren't listening.  Yes, Ray, chronologically, you did hit "it" first, but I really don't think Kim is holding a place in your heart for you, considering she has moved on several times since your little video.

This whole publicity stunt is L-A-M-E lame if you ask me.  Maybe if Ray J was more relevant, I wouldn't yawn as much.  I mean, c'mon, you're Ray J.  I'm sure any chick that you have hit since then has someone that has "hit it first."  Kris Humphries is trying to erase this chapter from his live, and it seems to be the only thing you got.

I understand though, one can only go so far as Floyd Mayweather's personal piano man, but let it go already.    The worst part of this ordeal is that the song is straight garbage...horrible.  I would be able take you somewhat seriously if song was somewhat catch or listenable, but it is not.  Ders from Workaholics makes better songs than you.

What are you going to do in about a week when neither Kanye or Kim respond to this infantile attempt to gain exposure?  You hooked up with a not yet famous Kardashian, take it for what it's worth and move on.  She has since upgraded from you, and I'm guessing (from the fact that she is still on your mind) that you have only downgraded.

If you are truly a musician, please concentrate on the music and less on the drama.  The song sucks, the story is old, grow up already.  You're welcome.

Daily Throwback: Notorious B.I.G. - Juicy

Kinda cliche throwback today considering I'm about to hit the grind for roughly 12 hours so I can "put five carats in my baby girl's ear."  Whatever though, its a jam nonetheless, and I can't upset the Shuffle God.  You're welcome.

Daily Throwback: Nas ft. Keri Hilson - Hero

Never a bad thing to wake up to Nasir.  Thank you Shuffle Gods.  And they say...you're welcome.